I see so many social media posts suggesting that I cut toxic people out of my life, and all the resounding "yes!" responses that they generate. However, they almost always leave me with a feeling of uneasiness. This type of message may inadvertently expand the ego, while not really offering positive modeling or an understanding of everyone's unique situation.
It’s very easy to pronounce that everyone needs to cut toxic people out of their lives, and that we all deserve better. But what are the realities beyond that idealistic recommendation?
It's subtle, but there's a meaningful difference between cutting toxic people out of your life for your Self, because you truly know you are worth it and value yourself at that level - and choosing to do...
“We don’t hear what someone said; we imagine what they meant.”
- Byron Katie
FILTERING THE INFORMATION WE RECEIVE
Byron Katie’s quote highlights the root of so much conflict, and offers insight into how we might be able to communicate more effectively with one another, as well as gain more insight about our selves.
We assign an imaginary meaning to what we hear others saying, based on our personal experience, which colors the lens of everything we look through. The words that are spoken, and the meaning behind them are obliterated by our own imperfect filtration system. We latch on to what we imagine is being said, thus dishonoring the experience of the person speaking.
WHAT IS THE EGO?
Over the course of our lives, we develop our ego to protect us. Layers of egoic influence begin to form around all our experiences, including the system, society and culture in which we live, as well as our wounds and our pain; from...